So I'm spending a bit more time on NG (playing less poker, work schedules changed), would like to do a bit more than just voting zero on half the portal and posting occasionally on the BBS, so if you've submitted something (flash/audio only, no interest in the art portal or with downloading unity), reply to me here and if you're not a retard I'll get round to it in due course.

May 2015 bring all the hoverboards and both the blam points you wanted. Meanwhile, here's what over 100 tons of burning cannabis looks like:

Was in Berlin last week. Went to the computer games museum there (https://www.computerspielemuseum.de/) which is something that anyone who's in the area should check out. All sorts of old games, consoles, hardware etc, including:

• Pong machine
• Virtual Boy (it's actually a thing)
• Some massive huge Atari joystick that works for stuff
• Old East German arcade machine with really, really crappy games
• E.T. for the Atari
• One of those old early 90's virtual reality headsets that they used on early series of Gamesmaster

Aside from that, Berlin's quite cool. They have huge Lego giraffes.

Also watched some football. Everything was a draw, obviously

Only 13 years in the making.

With great power comes great responsibility, so here comes my manifesto of what CRAP will be BLAMMED:

- all "match 3" games. We've seen enough.
- all dress up games. We've seen enough.
- all Madness rip-offs. Come up with your own ideas. Krinkels Day is an exception, but you're not Krinkels.
- all "tests", "previews", "alphas", "betas", "demos", "works in progress" etc. Nobody gives a shit. Show us it where you've finished it, if you must show it someone, post in one of the forums after sticking the file in your dumping grounds and ask for thoughts.
- generic shovelware.
- stuff from various crews. The Clock Crew were elite. The Lock Legion were a rip-off, but generally solid. The Star Syndicate were mostly crap but had their moments. Everyone else can go fuck themselves.
- ill-optimised stuff that someone's converted badly because it isn't even proper Flash. Bonus points if you link to your Youtube channel and tell us to watch it there. Newgrounds isn't Youtube and doesn't need us to stream 200MB of stuff for 30 seconds of crap.
- unoriginal games. Pong, Snake etc were all cool in the 80's but I have no reason to see games which were perfected on my Nokia 3210 a decade and a half ago.
- anyone saying it's their first flash. Everything not covered above is treated on its merit and you're not deserving of special treatment.

This list is not exhaustive but if everyone followed this simple plan we might see more than 2 submissions blammed daily.

Well it's been a long time coming, but we're at the top now. Thanks to all those who I've met along the way, including Tom, Wade, James, Stamper, Luis, Mindchamber, Steve, Maus, CaptainBob, DarkArchon, mightypotato, pox, Tim, Mike, Bob, Jonas, -1, mamatequila, Dan, Funk, avie, Evark, Shawn, Bahamut, Bezman, Wonchop, Jawdyn, Dean and anyone else I've missed. It's been a blast.

Lᴇɢᴀʟɪᴢᴇ Gᴀʏ Wᴇᴇᴅ

I now have more experience than you. Didn't see that happening ever

10 years ago next month saw the debut of Retarded Animal Babies:

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/92330

676kb, quite long

Today:

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/612331

12mb, 20 seconds

This whole "upload whatever the fuck you want" thing is garbage

FrankerZ FrankerZ FrankerZ FrankerZ FrankerZ FrankerZ FrankerZ FrankerZ FrankerZ FrankerZ

sometimes a picture paints a thousand words

NEVER FORGET

as an aside regarding the redesign, it looks pretty spiffy. the backdrops look fucking amazing. as far as casual visitors go, i think it's pretty much a solid improvement, NG, unlike most sites (facebook i'm looking at YOU), usually delivers on redesigns, and if they tweak some things it should be great. while being aware that it's a work in progress, some things they simply must fix are:

- option to turn sound off on portal submissions page. i have it off autoplay for a reason - i don't want the play me button to be making a racket in the background, in fact i don't want ANY audio playing in my browser that i haven't started myself, it's one of the biggest turnoffs i have when browsing sites and if i showed up as a new user today i'd probably just go somewhere else
- restore the notification that lets you know that you've voted on your 5 per day
- add a drop-down forum picker when looking at a post. pretty sure it was there before, it's not now. if it wasn't, just add it
- still not deleted games2rule's account, and all the other similar garbage submitters
- make the link, bold buttons that i'd use when posting here actually work in chrome

not sure that i like the idea of the classic portal view now being somewhat hidden, and the move away from flash and towards videos in general. there's already quite a few people that are just resubmitting stuff that they uploaded to youtube and bitching about quality issues - why try to merge things? stay unique, don't just try to allow anything in.

edit - thing is ridiculously slow in iOS nowadays as well